Hide or Seek?

Ask yourself this: Am I honest with God?

“But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults.”-Psalm 19:12

Like the genius I am, I asked the Lord earlier this year to show me the hidden faults in my heart so that I could deal with them. Not five minutes later, a girlfriend I hadn’t heard from in months sent me a text, asking forgiveness for going MIA and asking to speak with me later that day. My eyes rolled so far back in my head I shocked myself! Immediately I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit…I wasn’t as forgiving as I prided myself in being. There were wounds there that weren’t quite so healed. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind and tell her to stay gone.

If we’re really honest with ourselves, most of us would admit that when we ask the Lord for help, we don’t always want it.

We like our escape mechanisms.

We like being angry.

We’d rather be in pain than forgive someone and let them back in.

We’d rather ask God to give us what we want that trust what HE wants.

Are you honest with God? Are you willing to have your insides churned up and allow God to bring all the settled garbage to the top?

Scripture says in Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” I had to first submit to that command to forgive, and in that process, I began to grow in my appreciation of how quickly the Lord forgives me. Yet there’s  major difference between forgiveness and the restoration of trust. You can forgive someone, but not have to restore them to the level of trust and closeness until they’ve earned it. The Lord forgives us of our sin, and sometimes it takes renewed consistency pushing into His presence and seeking His face before we reach the level we were once living in. I was learning lesson upon lesson upon lesson in the course of three days.

One prayer led to a personal discovery of my own shortcomings through the Holy Spirit, and to this day the list continues. It’s only by the grace of God that we can stand and say “I’m not there yet, but I’m not where I was. I’m better.”

Be courageous enough to take a step further and ask for the hidden things to be revealed so that you can grow.

Stop hiding, start seeking.

To better promises,

R.